By Lubna Abdel-Aziz Sentiments overflow this festive season as we gather around our nearest and dearest, to share bounties of body and mind, as well as of heart and soul. We seek our friends, we reach out for them, reassuring them of our affection, and take pleasure in exchanging memories of 'auld lang syne' (old, long, since) the good old days. Nature dictates its own time for change. For centuries man celebrated the coming of spring as the beginning of a new year, which certainly made sense. All that is dead and done, departs with the end of winter as we look upon the budding greens with new hope and optimism. However, when emperors and popes twiddled and fiddled with the traditional calendar, shoving and pushing, adding and tallying, the New Year was pushed back to January rather than March, hardly the time to inspire hopefulness in dead dark midwinter. But there it is! The New Year is here, and like it or not, our spirit must be awakened, full of expectations of friendship and joy. It is good to rid ourselves of some things old -- old ideas, practices, styles, or old clothes dishes, furniture. We have to move forward, renew ourselves, discard our old skin, and clear out our minds from the clutter and monotony of yesteryear's woes. Not all things however are to be relinquished; certainly not the few precious old friends. Friendship is complex, indefinable, and often unreasonable, yet it has been described as "the masterpiece of nature." The foundation of friendship of course, is love. The bond of friendship stands on trust, loyalty, intimacy and comfort. A friend will accept, understand and forgive whatever you say or do! Too much to ask of anyone? That is why friends are few. We have acquaintances, companions, colleagues to play with, shop with, lunch with -- but friendship is an entirely different relationship. The study of friendship is included in sociology, anthropology, psychology. It is considered one of the central human experiences. In ancient times all cultures valued the glue of friendship as stronger than that of a brother. When asked "what is a friend," Greek philosopher Aristotle replied: "One soul inhabiting two bodies." Aristotle wrote extensively on "philia" or love, and its different types, focusing on friendship as "wanting for someone what one thinks good, for his sake, and not for one's own." How rare is that! Jesus Christ declared: "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man may lay down his life for his friend!" (John 15:13). A recent American study found that 25 per cent of the population "have no close confidants, and that the average total number of confidants has dropped to two!" Yet in ancient times "Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life, the school of virtue." Friendship today has lost the force and importance it had in antiquity. Could it be we are so dazzled with mechanical gadgets and technical wonders, we find no more time for a friend? Life without friends can be emotionally damaging and can lead to suicide. In order to have a friend, "one must first be a friend," but fewer and fewer possess the virtues necessary for such a relationship. The premise of friendship naturally refers to what is commonly known as a "true friend." There is the view held by some that friendships are formed only during our youth, yet Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) commented that he considered a day lost if he did not make a friend or acquaintance. "If a man does not make an acquaintance as he advances through life, he will soon find himself alone." Like love, friendship is elusive and mysterious. You may never know when or where a friend may cross your path. Friends know when to hug you and when to leave you alone. It is giving and not receiving that makes us value a friend. Millions and millions sang that international friendship song at the stroke of midnight, Monday 2007/Tuesday 2008: Should auld acquaintance be forgot And never brought to mind ? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And days of auld lang syne? A query? A reproach? A reminder? This song initially centred on two young men who drifted apart and re-united after many years and reminisced about shared happy experiences during earlier times. Attributed to the Scottish poet Robert Burns, he in fact picked up the tune and some of the words from an old man singing in the dialect of Southwest Scotland and added verses of his own. When Burns joined the Masons he absorbed their tradition of symbolism. "Conviviality was for Burns, one of the most important virtues. For him Auld Lang Syne is a concrete expression of his love for mankind, his ideal of international brotherhood," As we form circles and sing this song, we are following the Masonic routine of demonstrating that we are all equal. As we come to the last verse, the nobleness of friendship erupts in a climactic gesture of offering your hand to your fellow man. And there's a hand my trusted fiere (friend) And gie's a hand o'thine The right hand of fellowship is extended to the brother on the left, the left hand to the brother (or sister) on the right. This is a significant Masonic symbol, crossing their hearts in love and automatically forming a smaller and closer circle of friendship, "an unbroken chain of brethren who are close friends." "One friend in life is much, two are many, and three are barely possible." If you have no more than a friend or two, consider yourself lucky. As children we wrote in each others' autographs, Always make new friends, But don't forget the old. For if the new are silver, Yet the old are gold. Like old wine, old friends are more pleasurable, but silver is not to be scoffed at. Ah, come my friends and fill my cup with your precious friendship and virtuous devotion. May we all do so for our friends and extend our hands crossing our hearts, as a warm pledge of brotherhood and kindness to all mankind. And may this year be the happiest ever. Friendship is Love without his wings L'Amitié est l'amour sans ailes Lord Byron (1788-1824)
