Americans are winners. Reading their cues is not only a recipe for happiness but is vital in business too, notes Gamal Nkrumah The enormous crimson lampshades add colour. Scarlet is as scandalous as it is eye-catching. Still, there is something inherently sanguine about the bloodstained splashes that dot the dark décor. Moreover, the dishes at Ruby Tuesday are evocative of a certain stereotypical America: Louisiana fried shrimp -- read plump prawns -- served with steamed broccoli, coated in a luscious buttery glaze, and the creamiest mashed potato imaginable. The names might awaken a bout of dormant nostalgia, but the dishes themselves are like most things American, rather common. Be that as it may, the meals on offer are both filling and fulfilling. Take the jumbo lump crab cake for example. It is composed of fresh succulent shockingly pink crab flesh, seared but without losing its moist juiciness in the process, and served with spicy chili sauce. It is typically American -- bold and brash. The roast chicken and sautéed mushrooms, favoured by my elder son, Karim, were somewhat more muted. The mini-burgers championed by my youngest son, Youssef, were all too American. I instinctively believe that all things American are something of a double-edged sword. It is both a privilege and a challenge to sell oneself as American. But, being American sells. There is no escaping the fact. The fork-tender, slow-cooked prime beef ribs were tempting. The tenderloin and crab cakes even more so. The crab cakes elicited the magical allure of those charming oceanside eateries you only find in the United States, in such cities as Baltimore and San Francisco. In America size matters: the bigger the better. Americans cannot digest the truism that small is sometimes beautiful. In America, like nowhere else on earth, big is Beautiful -- yes, with a capital B. Take Ruby's "Chicken Oscar": all natural grilled chicken, whatever that means, and again, fresh jumbo lump crab meat. The description of the dish itself gives the unmistakable impression of the myriad meanings of the immense. And, the dish is shockingly so. Americans are natural tricksters, even though they will tell you they are anything but. The ordinarily off-putting "jumbo", "lump" and "meat" are marketed in such a way that you actually think of them as attractive alternatives to the boring, healthy-lifestyle, puny tidbits served in restaurants specialising in the by now outdated nouvelle cuisine. Just to be on the safe side, the Chicken Oscar is served with asparagus, tinned as opposed to fresh, mashed potato and steamed broccoli (Ruby's infamous trademark duo), and the whole is drenched in a "delicate" lemon butter sauce. Saucy, but souse your taste buds with the compelling concoction. I avoided at all costs -- and they don't come cheap at Ruby's -- the greasy starters such as the cheddar fries. I shuddered uncontrollably while trying to figure out how many calories were stacked in each oil-oozing fried finger. The spinach and artichoke, I fathomed, were far healthier and more appetising. However, they came covered in creamy Parmesan cheese and crisp, cholesterol-laden, tortilla chips. The juices at Ruby Tuesday are refreshing even though they are all too familiar and predictable -- fresh mango, orange and lemon. The cocktails are a tad more imaginative than the presumptuously named "handcrafted" fresh juices. I wondered what handcrafted actually meant in the context of freshly-squeezed juice. I tried hard not to let my imagination run wild. Truly wild, however, was the sexy-sounding Ruby T which customers were informed in the menu is a refreshing blend of pomegranate juice and fresh iced tea. By the time I walked out of this expensive eatery that purports to serve "simple, fresh American dining" I had forgotten what "Ruby's Paradise" actually was. I couldn't for the life of me figure out whether it was a cocktail or a dessert. All the secrets lie in the not so subtle Americanisms. Cranberry and pineapple juices, peach and coconut syrup and the adorable all-American apple pie. Sautéed vegetables were simply an un-American aberration. Ruby Tuesday CityStars, Fifth Floor Nasr City, Cairo Tel: 2480 2277 Lunch for three: LE280
