Restaurant review: Toute nouvelle café Gamal Nkrumah is exhilarated by luscious French comfit Ah, here she is. I wonder how she got this far, this quickly. Arkan Mall is way out in the desert to the west of Giza. There is a comforting array of restaurants and coffee shops that exude an awful lot of fun. Brushing aside my objections and sarcasm with a dismissive movement of her manicured hand, Queen Tiye looked me straight in the eye. "The kitchen produces some excellent bonbon," she said doggedly. Next to the passionate Queen Tiye I felt rather prosaic. Certainly nothing could have looked more Parisian chic than La Gourmandise. I was hoping for something savoury -- a of unctuous monkfish with tangy lemon zest and fragrant mandarin. Queen Tiye stopped short and continued in a dry reflective tone. "Or perhaps a cocotte brimming with bland bream and a fillet of cod with some special summer vegetable such as chard," she slumped into a chair. "But I crave something sweet tonight," she hissed between clenched teeth. Sheikh Zayed City was bathed in an eerily white moonlight, the full moon beckoned above and I imagined hearing a werewolf howling in the wastelands. The desert was breathlessly beautiful and so was Queen Tiye. Her hands clasped behind her head. It was through endless conversations with Queen Tiye and the Platinum Blonde that I began to understand something of living in what passes as suburbia in the satellite cities surrounding Cairo. The bewitching words of Kipling came to mind. "Something hidden. Go and find it. Go and look behind the ranges -- something lost behind the ranges. Lost and waiting for you. Go." That something waiting for me was La Gourmandise, . The Platinum Blonde interrupts. But the questions she gave and the answers she divulged were as bland as ever. "Gateau soiree, wow," she gasped. This is Ramadan, the holy month of fasting and repentance in the Muslim calendar. Just think religious redemption. "We are going for the terrine," Queen Tiye snaps. "Terrine made free of pork, of course," she snarled in a fearsome rustling noise. I felt sorry for the Platinum Blonde, but was there any way in which I could help her? Terrine it was, and it was delicious. That was to be followed by the Viennese. Could I help the Platinum Blonde change the world? Did I want to? No. I felt a shiver running up and down my spine. Terrine and verrine? It rhymed. Terrine salmon, with mushrooms, shrimp, herbs, and cocktail sauce (whatever that entails). The Platinum Blonde spoke with a pronounced German accent which failed to make her tone anymore agreeable to Queen Tiye. A couple of weeks before she had a terrific altercation with some heifer, she says. "A big fat cow," she fumed. Queen Tiye erupted into a menacing rasp. She stopped short and continued in a dry reflective tone. "I've made so many choices on my way to where I am now," she whispers. The Platinum Blonde sighed. She told me in hushed tones when Queen Tiye decided to take a quick tour of Arkan Mall. "I have difficulty believing what she is saying sometimes," she shrugged. Is it hard to handle? "I don't believe in sacrifices, I believe in choices," Queen Tiye returned with an air of triumph. And does she think she's made sacrifices? Not, at this French patisserie. La Gourmandise Arkan Mall, 6 October City
