Limelight "Unfaithfully yours" By Lubna Abdel-Aziz The flag of the enchanted Kingdom of Hollywood is stamped with the dollar sign. You are a respectable citizen if your film makes an X-number of dollars. Seldom does it matter whether or not your thoughts on film stir a debate on a social, philosophical or political level. Still, some films do, wittingly or unwittingly. With the recent release of an Adrian Lyne film Unfaithful, a renewed and vigorous discourse on the intriguing problem of infidelity has been launched. British director Lyne knows a thing or two about infidelity conforming with the premise of another fellow Brit, Irish playwright, Oscar Wilde, "in married life, three is company and two is none!" In 1987, he gave us the spellbinding psychological thriller Fatal Attraction, with Michael Douglas and Glenn Close, where the unfaithful husband gets entangled with a pathologic killer. It must have stopped many an errant husband cold in his tracks. Drawn by the unconventional, Lyne thrives on such themes as Indecent Proposal (1993) with Robert Redford and Demi Moore, a story involving a poor young couple, a millionaire and an indecent proposal. He has also scored critically and commercially in such productions as Flashdance (1987) and Nine 1/2 Weeks (1986). This time around, Lyne explores once again his favourite subject of infidelity, reversing the roles of the infidel. His work is based on the 1968 French film, written and directed by Claude Chabrol, La Femme Infidèle. Diane Lane, suburban wife, happily married to Richard Gere, indulges in an adulterous affair with a young French bookseller, played by Olivier Martinez. It will be a hard sell to have any woman turn her back on heartthrob Richard Gere. Since its inception film has had a field day with the subject of infidelity. Fourty to 50 per cent of productions involve a "triangle plot". The marvelous film noir has relished exposing the tragic consequences of a straying wife with sultry femme fatales, as Barbara Stanwyck Double Indemnity; Lana Turner, The Postman Always Rings Twice; Marilyn Monroe--Niagara; Catherine Deneuve--Belle de Jour; Michelle Morgan--L'Etrange Madame X. Historically a woman's transgression has had a formidable impact, while man was always given a carte blanche on 'betrayal'. Diane Lane "Unfaithful" to Richard Gere The condition of love, with its bittersweet elements, has been explored throughout history in mythology, classical drama, literature, art, poetry and philosophy. However, it is only in the last century with Freud and the young science of psychology, that we have become concerned with analysing and understanding human emotions. Love has always been an ambivalent feeling of blissful joy and painful torture generally culminating in either matrimony or separation. Freud believed that adult love and sexuality were an extension of the infantile mother/son, father/daughter form of love. With love comes jealousy "that green-eyed monster", a behaviour that differs greatly between men and women. Studies show that men care more about the physical act of a partner's infidelity, while women feel more deeply the emotional betrayal. The looming question is why people have extra-marital relations? Affairs are glamourised in movies, soap operas, romance novels and TV shows. The fascinating and titillating news for us, is disclosure of the indiscretions of a public figure, such as the case of Bill Clinton. While many believe that sexual addiction is to blame for such behaviour, only seven per cent of sexual affairs occur with sex addicts. By and large they are not the reason why people have affairs. They do make a good subject for thrilling and emotionally laden films, as in Damage, (1993) by French director Louis Malle and Ossessione, (1942) by Italian director Luchino Visconti; and the Cannes Palme d'Or surprise of 1989, Steven Soderberg's sex, lies and videotapes. The incentives may be many -- attraction, sex, companionship, admiration, power, excitement, curiosity, vanity, or even boredom. However, the main reason may be one we are not willing to confront whether by nature we are or are not monogamous. The monogamy dilemma is ongoing. Jessie Bernard, in her classic work, "The Future of Marriage" considers it a futile debate. "Millions of words have been used to document both the naturalness and unnaturalness of monogamy; the question is actually unanswerable". While most of us expect monogamy to be a normal part of marriage, the reality is that monogamy is not the "norm". Most people do not intend to have affairs, but they happen more often than you think, to all kinds of people, in all walks of life. It was none other than Dr Alfred C Kinsey (1894-1956), of the Kinsey Report, in his famous study on sexual behaviour, who concluded that by age 40, 50 per cent of men and 26 per cent of women will have experienced an extra-marital affair. That was 50 years ago. Recent studies have shown a significant increase in the number of women having affairs. Conservative estimates are that about 60 per cent of men and 40 per cent of women will have an extra-marital affair. Society has imposed marriage and society has imposed monogamy. While moving us from our primitive existence up the ladder of civilisation, society has dictated its laws and regulations as the price for enjoying its privileges. Marriage defined our identity, our family and our roles in life. With marriage came traditions. The oldest wedding tradition we still practice to this day, is the exchange of the wedding ring, dating back to the Third Dynasty of the Old Kingdom of Egypt around 2,800 BC. However, it has also been considered a noose around the neck, resulting in divorce laws. The first written divorce regulations were incorporated in the ancient Babylonian "Code of Hammurabi", 1800 BC. Many early societies permitted only the husband to get a divorce. Early Christians preached that marriage was permanent, but in the 1500s Protestant reformers successfully transferred divorce laws to government jurisdiction, making it a legal rather than a religious concern. While divorce may be the legal ending of a failed marriage, many religions do not allow it and in many cases, one or both partners do not wish to divorce for the sake of the children, finances, or societal disapproval. Not wishing to disrupt the lifestyle, the answer is often an extra-marital relationship. Infidelity is committed in secrecy and often without harming the marriage, until it is discovered. While some religions have presumed to solve this problem by allowing man to be polygamous, the crime of a man married to more than one woman was once punishable by death. Islam allows a man to have as many as four wives and some Hindus set no limit to the number of wives allowed him. Mormons in the US practiced a similar arrangement until 1890, although US Congress passed a law forbidding polygamy in 1862. Among the Todas of India and the Eskimos, women taking more than one husband was common. Some groups in Tibet still follow this practice. With our computerised mobile society, most marriages bring two careers and two providers, blurring the once clearly defined traditional roles. As the woman gains more exposure, she is allowed more opportunities to discover that "stolen sweets taste best". Men are now forewarned; before they stray, they should seriously contemplate the fact that they are no longer alone with a license to cheat. The sanctity of the marriage vows is clearly diminishing. Perhaps the flaw lies within the marriage institution itself, which ends up in divorce about 50 per cent of the time. Despite the horrifying statistics, and the fact that society has always rebelled against marriage -- "Oh, how many torments lie in the small circle of a wedding ring" -- it seems to have served society well so far. It will be up to future generations to decide on its fate. A post-war environment wrought with pain, destruction and the futility of life, erodes the rigid morals that society dictates. If it cannot keep us safe and happy, why should we follow its morals and rules? Director Lyne has certainly aroused a heated debate that is both engaging and endless, for the truth is: Marriage has many pains but celibacy has no pleasures. Samuel Johnson.
