By Omar Taher I went through four ministers of education before finishing school. Lest I forget, I also went through a devastating earthquake that claimed hundreds of lives. I cheered with the crowds when Egypt's national football team, coached by Gohari, qualified for the world cup. While Hamid Al-Shaeri took the art of signing up a notch or two, our footballer Magdi Abdel-Ghani went to play professionally in Portugal -- and the status of our country went up a notch or two. It wasn't long before Hasan Shehata rose to eminence as a brilliant coach, having drawn Minya out of the depths of the junior league. Shehata, who must have inspired dozens of love stories at the Cairo Stadium in 2006, is one to remember. Those were heady times. Love was on the rise, but so were divorce and celibacy rates. Prices have been going up steadily ever since. My train ticket back home used to cost LE20; now it is LE65; sometimes I can't even find a seat. The day I passed that ill-fated, burned-down train, I realised that I had only missed it by an hour or two. As for the ferryboat that sank off our eastern shores, I am proud to report that I listened to its last SOS, courtesy of modern technology. It wasn't long after Mubarak came to power that Egypt initiated satellite broadcast, then we got the internet and later on both Facebook and YouTube. Somewhere in the middle of all that, mobile phones managed to take over our lives. I have gone through eight mobile sets in 28 years: the first had a long antenna; the last has an FM radio. I also changed my telephone number four times -- you never know who is going to call you these days. Celebrity report: Yousef Chahine was honoured in Cannes. Naguib Mahfouz and Ahmad Zuweil got their Nobel prizes. Boutrus Ghali became chief of the UN, and El-Baradei took over the International Atomic Energy Agency. Haifaa Wahbi settled in Egypt with a young businessman husband. Fayruz came to Cairo once and was apparently reluctant to repeat the experience. So event organisers went shopping for talent elsewhere, bringing us Shakira, Sting, Pochelli, Enrique Iglesias, and Walt Disney's ice skating shows. We also lost quite a few celebrities: Mahfouz, El-Naqqash, Awad, Abu Ghazala, Salah Abu Seif, Thabet El-Batal, Sheikh Ghazali, Sheikh Shaarawi. Gamal Hamdan died in a fire. Salah Jahine died of depression. Ahmad Bahaa El-Din had a stroke. Soad Hosni died in foreign lands. Soad Nasr died of an overdose of anaesthesia. Mohammad Abdel-Wahhab stumbled on his carpet. Rifaat El-Mahgoub and Farag Fouda were shot by terrorists. Soliman Khater died in his prison cell. Ahmad Zaki passed away before finishing his film Halim. Yehya El-Taher Abdallah died in a car accident. Atef El-Tayyeb passed away at 40. On a more personal level -- correct me if I am wrong -- each of us has lost two members of his family at the very least. New creatures appeared in our midst, such as al-sal'awa, something between a wolf and a rabid dog. We were hit twice by locusts. We experienced two solar eclipses. DNA evidence was used for the first time in court to establish that this little boy was indeed the son of that young actor, a precedent that goes hand in glove with the growing phenomenon of common-law marriage. We fought one Gulf War to liberate Kuwait, but first the army needed to crack down on rioting anti-riot police. Then the army intervened once again, this time to help resolve the bread crisis. The Iraqis came to settle among us and were good neighbours, then they pushed up real estate prices. We were elated with the opening of the Metro, but most of us still feel frustrated every day we get stranded in Lebanon Square. Why, I wonder, cannot Metro lines make it all the way to 6 October City and its ever expanding suburbs? The suburbs are growing so fast, and eating up so much agricultural land, that I see the day when the only peasants we have left will be dwelling in the Smart Village. Houses were filled with the volumes written by the Egyptologist Selim Hassan, a bonus of the "Reading for All" project which gave us generations of brilliant writers. But talent is no longer an asset. Many talented people would argue that they have been treated unjustly in this country over the past 28 years. We know that young people have been fleeing the homeland in non- seaworthy boats, hoping for happier shores. Some die during the trip; some gamble all their family's money and lose. But I know one, just one, who made the trip abroad successfully. Essam El-Hadari, our intrepid goalkeeper, was much maligned wanting to try his luck abroad. He was, of course, making millions playing for his club in Cairo -- but we mustn't snub ambition. Professional football is one of the developments in our lives in the past 28 years. It reminds me a lot of the margin of democracy that we have been allowed. Professional football produced astronomical salaries and caused shifts in allegiance, as well as bringing us players from other countries, but our football is still as uninspiring as ever. I am telling you, it is just like the margin of democracy -- much ado about nothing. We welcomed the new millennium with a silly concert at the foot of the pyramids. After that, a lot in our landscape has changed. In singing, a new star has appeared, only to nearly lose his popularity over alleged dodging of military service, but surprise, surprise -- rumours of draft dodging made him even more popular, apparently a new generation of fans doesn't give a hoot about army service -- many said the rumour was spread by a jealous rival, Amr Diab. In cinema, we went from narcotics-inspired films to comedy. We lost ground to poverty, ignorance, disease, and television soaps -- even to dubbed Mexican shows. Films made by real estate contractors ebbed away, making room for a boom in video clips. Then video clips lost to home-made videos, some taken by mobile phone cameras. One famous home-made video featured a citizen being sodomised by a police truncheon, reality TV style. The city map also went through some drastic changes. Al-Shawarbi Street died a natural death, while City Stars soared even higher. Wekalet El-Balah managed to maintain its position, due to the loyal support by the underpaid masses. We didn't go for utopia, but we gave the artisans a small city to call their own. Before that, we took apart Abul Ela Bridge and promised to turn it into a peerless piece of art, then misplaced it. Meanwhile, police vacated the Rod Al-Farag market by force, sending the traders to Al-Ubur City. The landscape of going out also underwent some turbulence. Petrol stations now offer you multiple types of imported coffee. The days of Mamoura, Agami and Montaza are over, as a flurry of "Porto de's" appeared in Marina, Ein Sokhna, and other places. The days of coffeehouses that serve sahlab (a thick drink flavoured with nuts and coconuts) and backgammon seem to be numbered, as the town is getting increasingly peppered by venues that sell over- priced frappuccino. The traffic scene is no longer the same. Qasr Al-Eini became a one way street while the October Bridge acquired many ramps and the 26 July Corridor and the Ringroad became major motoring routes. We're building roads like crazy, and they get clogged the minute we finish them. The health scene has changed with investors taking interest in healthcare projects. And the religion scene is constantly shifting. At first, many compatriots seemed to sympathise with a fearsome brand of extremism, while others simply went for devil worship. Then a period of reconciliation followed, brought about by middle- of-the-way tele-preachers. Then some of the latter went extreme, and we had to do the whole thing all over again. Meanwhile, the Bahais screamed for freedom, wanting to have their own creed on the national ID, instead of the obligatory choice between Muslim and Christian. As this was taking place, the countryside fell into the grips of an invisible war among the followers of the country's two main faiths. The map of education has changed with the abolition of the sixth year and the cancellation of the science and maths branches, then came a decision to extend Thanawiya Amma (pre-college exam) over two years. As private universities came into the picture, the picture became even more varied and unclear. The map of the environment has been redrawn. We appointed a minister for the environment and the first thing you know, we were hit by growing pollution. Since then, pollution has infiltrated everything -- from blood supplies to water, food, air, and the individual psyche. The map of manhood has changed with the art of thuggery. The map of womanhood has changed with the appearance of surgical breast implants and enlargement. The map of sexuality has changed with the emergence of Viagra. I don't know if I am living the life I dreamt for myself and others. Things have changed so much that I don't know whether they were supposed to get better or worse. The whole thing is bewildering.
