Laws concerning visitation rights for parents should be amended to establish that children have rights too, writes Thanaa El-Shamy* Children who are unfortunate to have their parents divorce end up living with one or the other. Children younger than 15 years of age requiring custody (normally by the mother as long as she remains unmarried) are entitled to see the other non-custodial parent (normally the father). If the parents come to an amiable agreement regarding a programme of visits, there is no problem. Problems abound, however, when parents disagree on visitation rights and the matter is brought to court. The current Personal Status Law regulating visitation rights stipulates that parental visits should be supervised by a third party (a close relative of the mother, like a father, brother or mother); should take place once a week, for at least three hours; and should take place at a location that will not harm the children, like clubs, libraries, or public parks. Reports show that such visitations are callous in nature and devoid of loving emotions or feelings. The children go to see their father in a place under the supervision of a hostile relative of the mother, making it difficult for the father to get closer to his children or even to enjoy giving them a hug. Some mothers instruct their children not to be swayed by, or respond to, their father's exhibited overtures of love, threatening to punish them if they do. Attempts on the part of the father to get closer to the children, if they show loving reactions to him, would be reported by the person supervising the visit. Some mothers portray the father and his family as monsters. Furthermore, the father cannot bring along a member of his family to see the child -- not even an older brother or sister of the concerned child. Sometimes fathers also take advantage of such visitation hours to try to smear the reputation of the mother. Children come out of these experiences feeling depressed and suffering psychological trauma, as if visitation rights were solely for parent(s) and not for children. The present law also deprives children of visits by grandparents and their father's larger family, except if the two parents are not present in the country. The law also does not allow the larger families of the non-custodial parent any chance to see the children. It should be noted that sometimes the relationship between children and their grandparents and their father's families are so strong that denying them the right to visit with them becomes a punishment to the children through no fault of their own. Why can't such visitations be conducted in a healthy and normal atmosphere full of love, where the non-custodial parent can accompany his children back to his house so they can get to know their brothers and sisters better, as well as the parent's family? The law should be modified in order to provide appropriate guarantees to the custodial parent that children would be returned at the end of such visits. This way small children would be raised in a nurturing atmosphere and would not see their parents as two hostile parties or enemies. If parents would stop using their children as weapons to fight each other, their children would grow up without deep feelings of hatred that might push them to extreme behaviour, becoming a menace to society. * The writer is a family law specialist.
