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Restaurant review: Platinum for Puccini
Published in Al-Ahram Weekly on 06 - 09 - 2012


Restaurant review:
Platinum for Puccini
Pasta with a Mexican twist, recommends Gamal Nkrumah
Tosca, Puccini's ultimate opera thriller, is one of Platinum Blonde's pet obsessions. She swung her necklace, nevertheless, nonchalantly and went on, "Let's meet in Toscanini, Dokki, for our next outing," her buxom bosom brushing my shoulders. Leaning back on my chair, I sighed. I tried to gather my thoughts and think constructively in the dimly lit and dark-wood theme décor.
Despite her soprano voice, opera was not always her bag. Platinum Blonde fingered her necklace nervously. She was the type who preferred to cling to her mother's apron strings.
She put on a pair of reading glasses, scrutinised the menu, and read aloud. She searched in vain for the Italian family meal as depicted in fiction, but hardly ever realised in fact, at least not in the Cairene restaurants that pass as Italian.
I was examining Queen Tiye's hourglass figure, more in tune with the music of the spheres. "Put aside conflict and actually try to love each other," I stared with a differentiated vision at the two women.
"I don't know if I would make a good detective. All I can say is that I quite enjoy a good puzzle I can get my teeth into," I roared with laughter as I plucked a morsel of delectable barbecue chicken atop a most mouth-watering and crispy pizza.
Queen Tiye opted for a Mexican tortilla that "literally melts in your mouth", she gasped. The pico de gallo, a Mexican condiment made from coarsely chopped tomatoes, fiery chili and grated onions, added zest and character. Dessert is served on the second-level at Toscanini's Café.
Up on the top floor for a cup of coffee, Platinum Blonde was picking at Oreo cookies, ice cream and chocolate sauce. "I'd much rather pick a piping hot sesame-coated tamiya," Platinum Blonde ventured. She had just devoured a hearty chunk of cheese nachos, drenched in a rich creamy cheesy dip.
After a few swigs the two-level dining venue on Mohieddin Abul-Ezz becomes more or less palatable. The food bears the hallmark of Italy; the flavours are more intense than most Italian dishes, though. They are far from conservative with their pizza toppings.
Queen Tiye derisively eyed Platinum Blonde's spotted leopard outfit. But inside that big tiger suit there is also a ferocious talent. "For Heaven's sake hold your tongue," Queen Tiye. Whether she likes it or not, there are elements of a diva, primarily because of Queen Tiye's tenor underpinned by her astonishing vocals.
Platinum Blonde was frozen stiff. Spring rolls stuffed with fresh seasonal vegetables followed. Queen Tiye's vocals are a remarkably malleable instrument that expresses those brusque tones which seem to be characteristic of aristocrats, and also the most melodious.
Next, Mexican wraps and fajitas followed in quick succession by an array of cheese, chicken, beef and seafood nachos. "I do believe the problem is the Mexican intrusion," Platinum Blonde pontificated. "Do you mean to say Mexican and Italian are an incompatible combination? They are both Latin cultures, aren't they?" Her extraordinary vocal chords resonated lugubriously in the restaurant.
Platinum Blonde blinked uncertainly at Queen Tiye and said almost hysterically, "But Mexican is New World, and Italy Old World," she screeched. "Possibly," Queen Tiye replied tartly.
With a mischievous grimace the waiter pulled the cork. He was obviously eavesdropping. Good. Now I can drink with a clear conscience.
Toscanini, Dokki


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