Restaurant review: Open your mind but plug your ears Leave your cynicism and jadedness at the door, writes Hannah Mintz, and enjoy the Oriental show at the Ramses Hilton Tackiness has a boiling point. There is level on the cheese-o-meter above which things morph from unbearably kitchy to surprisingly enjoyable, like liquid suddenly bubbling into gas. Well, the floorshow at Falafel in the Ramses Hilton hit 100 degrees C (standing for Corny) within its first moments. My companions and I arrived a few minutes before the start of the show, with absolutely no expectations of what was to come. (In fact, we didn't even know Falafel offered such entertainment). We were seated at one of the restaurant's low brass tables. The walls are covered with traditional-looking tapestries in pleasing primary colours. But I was unable to focus on the pleasant visuals, as my senses were defending against the audio assault being waged by the eight-piece percussion band, armed to the teeth with microphones. As soon as we finished ordering, which required yelling directly into our delightful waiter's ear, the performers filled the stage. The master of ceremonies, dressed in a white galabiya, red fez hat and cordless mike made his way around the tables, uttering incomprehensible phrases. Meanwhile, several young women, donning brightly coloured and slightly scandalous dresses lined up in front of the band. My friends and I exchanged sceptical glances. What had we gotten ourselves into? But from the get-go, the mood was lighthearted and fun. It was clear that the performers were having trouble taking themselves seriously, and so the show seemed to have a good sense of humour about itself. At one point, one of the women on stage had to turn away from the audience because she could not stifle her laughter at something the charming MC had said. The women prance around coquettishly throughout the act, batting their eyelashes and grabbing certain body parts. The show, which starts nightly at 10pm, is not for the kids. Though we did not have any idea what was going on for the duration of the two-hour show, it didn't seem to matter. The scenes jumped without coherent transitions from pseudo-Sufi dancers to a belly-dancer to mock- Arabian army preparing for battle. The show was in Arabic, which didn't make it any easier for the entirely Western audience to follow along. But entertainment, not cultural comprehension, was the goal. And the extravaganza of Orientalism was clear to all. At this point I must issue a warning: there is audience participation. So if you're like me, and the idea of attempting to belly dance on stage while your friends are doubled over laughing back at your table makes you shudder, then I advise you to find a convenient time to sneak off to the bathroom. Thankfully, I did not get picked. And I could enjoy watching the other audience members join into the show. There was not a drop of cynicism or judgement in the place, and the participants genuinely seemed to be having a great time. The food at Falafel takes a backseat role in the Falafel experience. We ordered fatoush and taamiya to start, each for around LE20. The portions were un- shareably small, and the quality did not make up for the quantity. Each of us ordered a variation on grilled chicken for our main course. Though we ordered three different dishes, they all looked and tasted the same to me. The chicken was intensely greasy. Each was accompanied by oddly sweetened rice and overcooked steamed vegetables. But our growing enjoyment of the performance distracted us from our unexciting meals. We even appreciated the blessing bestowed on us by the incense- wielding wizard, wearing a pointy hat and long beard. As we turned our chairs back to the table to pay the check, my companions and I exchanged glances again. To our utter shock, we were all grinning, ear to ringing ear. Falafel Ramses Hilton 1115 Corniche Al-Nil Tel: 2577 7444 Dinner (and entertainment) for two: LE240
