Armed and dangerous

Injy El-Kashef takes a friend out
When a good friend of yours is next-door neighbours with a Levantine food outlet that has been open for three years and she never tries it, what do you do? You go over to her house, grab her by the hand and open her eyes to a new experience. I tried. I failed. She refused to move; she was feeling very domestic, she said.
At times like these one can rely only on oneself to get the job done. And so I embraced my fate and headed solo to Ya Mal Al-Sham. It is very small, very dull-looking and full of young Egyptian men. Naturally, they all seemed pretty comfortable, engaging in considerably loud small (some would say petty) talk. They seemed to be having a great time -- what more could one want from life?
One quick look at the menu made everything crystal clear. If you don't feel like animal protein or carbohydrates, make a subtle U-turn and head straight for the door. Your presence there will be a waste of time.
All kinds of grilled meat, kofta, kebab, fatta and sandwiches exist at Ya Mal Al-Sham, the main emphasis falling on what are termed "meals": shawerma, shish tawouk, Indian kebab, something called Zunoud Al-Sitt (women's arms): all come with a choice of Basmati rice, French fries or firik (cooked green wheat). Then of course there is a long list of yummy Levantine appetisers, including fattoush, baqdounisiya (a parsley-based affair), tomiya (garlic paste) and maybe 10 other options, all for the same fixed price of LE3.
I place my orders and, since there was no way I was going to sit there alone, in the company of so many charming youths, at a relatively late hour of the night, I made sure to specify it would be a take-away. Nor was there any way on earth I was going to leave without finding out what a "woman's arms" are, in this particular context. It turns out that the dish consists of chicken fillet with mushrooms, olives and walnuts. I wasn't particularly flattered as a woman, I must say.
My order took a good 20 minutes to materialise, after which I headed back to my friend's, starving. My "meal" was the famous chicken shawerma (LE12), which was really and truly good, spread with tomiya and accompanied by delicious Basmati rice with saffron. Given her attitude, my friend deserved the sandwich of female arms (LE7). It wasn't so tasty: not a trace of mushrooms, olives or nuts, and the bread was over- toasted. The fries, on the other hand, were excellent. Frying strips of potato is an art in and of itself, and they master it for a reasonable LE3. We also shared some sambousek (cheese, please -- never meat) for LE3 -- the kind that does not emit oil at every bite, but feels like it's been dusted with baby powder before frying. Just to continue the Greater Syria theme, we had a taste of kobeiba (LE3), which we weren't crazy about but couldn't really take issue with.
I think my friend might end up using Ya Mal Al-Sham more often than she ever expected to -- unless her sweet tooth is acting up, because they do not believe in dessert.
Ya Mal Al-Sham, 49 Rabi'a Buildings, off Nozha St., past Dar Al-Difa' Al-Gawwi.
Tel: 2902749
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