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Entre Nous - Sorry, we're not sorry
Published in Al-Ahram Weekly on 13 - 11 - 2014

We're all human, dears, and for that reason we're all allowed to make mistakes. Likewise, when we do make an error of judgement, we simply make an apology and move on. But the truth is that there are some actions we shouldn't feel guilty about because our emotional and physical health depends on it.
These are seven instances experts say don't merit an apology:
Saying no: In order to control the messy nature of our daily lives, we should focus on one thing at a time. Sometimes you have to say no to taking on too much work or overbooking your calendar, and that's more than okay. In fact, if you don't stop overloading yourself it could lead to a total collapse.
Taking a vacation: There are countless benefits from taking some mental space when you're burned out, so you shouldn't feel guilty about taking advantage of them. Just planning for a vacation can increase your happiness levels and decrease stress. So don't feel guilty about taking a vacation.
Breaking up a toxic friendship: It's true that separation from a friend can be even more painful than ending a romantic relationship. But sometimes you have to exclude a person or experience from your life for your own health's sake, and that's nothing to be ashamed about. Studies say that when your heart opens up to your own suffering that sympathy for yourself can include even the person who has caused you suffering. The more stressed out someone is, the more likely this is going to rub off on you. Therefore, you shouldn't feel guilty about removing yourself from such a situation.
Not answering email right away:
Due to the now ever-present technology, the pressure to immediately reply to emails is growing. But it's all right to take a break from your inbox if this is stressing you out. Many successful people don't check their email until they have reached their offices.
Putting yourself first: This is not about being selfish, as personal wellness is crucial to living an optimal life. If you're going to make your needs a priority, then no apologies are necessary. In fact, putting yourself first can be the healthiest thing you can do — mentally, emotionally and physically.
Having some time alone: Being alone has many advantages as it can help you recharge, teach you self-control and more. And though most of us hate to be alone with our thoughts, we somehow feel compelled to be apologetic when we do want to enjoy our own space for a while.
Going to bed early: Sleep is crucial to our everyday health and happiness. It can be tempting to go out for the evening with friends or stay up to watch a thrilling movie on TV. But it isn't wrong, if you're tired, to hit the pillow a little early and get a good night's sleep. You may save yourself from serious health problems. Research shows that too little sleep can raise stress levels and lead to heart disease and obesity.


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