SO we are back on the road again, whatever that means! If we are, then please be very careful because this is the coldest time of year in the northern hemisphere. After realising that “year” and “hemisphere” rhyme together, I must congratulate myself for being the naturally gifted artists I am. “I'm so vain, I probably think this song is about me, I'm so vain, I bet I think this song is about me, Don't I? Don't I? Don't I?” Sorry Carly Simon for messing your song up. Let's go back to the scientific… and medical sides of me. I was so serious when I warned you about the cold weather. I find it very hard to stand the cold and in general I'm not in my happiest mood in the winter – I guess it reminds me of my school years when I had to wake up very early, put up with cruel obnoxious teachers, study hard and all that. Of course in high school everything changed – I didn't really wake up that early, cruel obnoxious teachers had to put up with me and my studying methods were different. Don't get me wrong, despite my very nasty reputation in staff rooms, I was a decent and bright student. I also feel down in the winter with all those grey clouds blocking the sky most of the time, various kinds of flu and so on. The summer was always better, with holidays, the shiny sun, beaches, pools, white T. shirts and jeans. I wish I were in Australia now where it's July… Isn't it? What do you expect from me? I am writing this article while listening to crazy stuff like Dick Dale's version of “Misirlou”, the one featured on the soundtrack to the movie “Pulp Fiction”. Incidentally, did you know that “Misirlou” means “Egyptian Girl”? As long as we are talking about the personal side of me, I might as well tell you that I've been spending most of my time at home so I get to watch a lot of TV and earlier today I really enjoyed the classic “Ferris Bueller's Day Off”. I love what the way this guy spent his day having fun instead of going to school. The highlight of course was when he mimed to the Beatles' version of “Twist and Shout”. I also loved how the mean Principal was taught a lesson. I think pretty soon I will write an anti-school article. Apparently, we are now exploring the artistic side of me and we will talk music. As you must have guessed, we will focus on songs that have to do with the cold weather and other ones suggesting ways of fighting this climate. British duo the Communards said “So Cold the Night”. Luckily, so far nights haven't been that cold in Cairo. But don't be fooled by this because they are expected to be chilly soon. British icon Elton John once claimed that it is “Too Low for Zero”, whatever that means! He was actually talking about the state he was in, so it has nothing to do with temperature but of course this will NOT stop me from relating it to the article – this was the title track of an album that included “Cold As Christmas (In the Middle of the Year)”. So, cold weather was mentioned there after all. HA! As you know, Elton comes from the UK and it gets really cold there and maybe that is why another one of his albums is called “Ice on Fire”. It featured the number one hit “Nikita”, on which he asked, “Hey Nikita is it cold in your little corner of the world?” What kind of question is that Elton? Didn't you know that Nikita was in the former USSR when you had that hit in October 1985? Everyone knows that October is very cold in this “corner of the world”, except Elton, who knew nothing about geography… But I do and that's the intellectual side of me! Greek artist Demis Roussos sang about “Fire and Ice” and we don't want to be confused, so he better sort things out with Elton – what should come first, ice or fire? Fire is a very good thing to have in the winter and it sometimes helps in having big hits, like “Fire” by American trio the Pointer Sisters, which was originally written and recorded by Bruce Springsteen. It's a very good example of how rock classics could be brilliantly covered in a rhythm and blues style. It must have been a very cold day when the Doors said “Light My Fire”. I would have asked you to do the same, but I'm really worried you might burn the carpet. My mom will kill me then. Now I know why this American band was called the Doors – to be closed, so mom wouldn't see the carpet. Have I told you that I've recently burned my bed sheet and mattress? It was of course unintentional so please don't try this at home, or anywhere else! Madonna had a huge hit with the track “Frozen”, but no one knows where exactly it was recorded! I strongly recommend fresh songs rather than frozen ones. Ironically this number was taken from her album “Ray of Light”, which is something I could do with right now. If I were to make a list of my all time favourite music acts, British rockers Queen would be at number four. Wait, I changed my mind… I think this band should be at number four, which is exactly what I said in the previous sentence. Queen had a song called “AWinter's Tale”. I'm not sure if “tale” was written properly... maybe it should be “tail”, as in “winter lingers on”… and maybe not! On his entirely different song “A Winter's Tale”, British artist David Essex declared “the nights are colder now, maybe I should close the door”. David, I believe doors should be closed in general and not just because it got cold. You are still watching the British weather forecast and we just wanted to let you know that our local boys the Moody Blues also made a copy of that very same David Essex song. Now the question is… which version is the original? I'm too “cold”-hearted to tell you! On his latest album “If On AWinter's Night”, brilliant British artist Sting included the perfect songs… for this article – “The Snow It Melts The Soonest”, “Cold Song”, “The Burning Babe”, “Now Winter Comes Slowly”, “The Hounds Of Winter” and “You Only Cross My Mind In Winter”. Thank you very much Sting. Before I go, I just need to tell you that a friend of mine wants to buy an orange scarf! Do you know where he can find one? Send me your coats, gloves and scarves to: [email protected]
