Limelight: Why we gossip By Lubna Abdel Aziz Once shunned and scorned as an evil act, "the devil's mouthpiece", the status of gossip has been elevated by psychologists, who now believe that it is a natural human, social, psychological activity, essential for our very survival. If you still dismiss it as a trivial pastime you will discover it is much more. Gossip, scientists believe, is how we arrange our world as social animals. "For a real understanding of our social environment, gossip is essential," states psychologist Jack Levin in his book Gossip -- The Inside Scoop. It sets the boundaries of social behaviour, the rules which we are to abide by. We all need to learn the unwritten rules of our society or social group. Gossip helps us discover, transmit and reinforce those rules. It teaches members of a group what behaviours are considered unacceptable. Gossip, shepherds the herd, it tells us when we have crossed the boundaries. To enjoy the advantages of our group influence, we act within those boundaries and avoid criticism. But why do we indulge and glory in vulgar rhapsodies of this sinister act? Because by nature we are snoops and chatterers, males and females, young and old. In our primaeval days it was important for us to share and exchange information on basic survival, such as the source of food, who the chief hunter was, and other fears, desires and obsessions of our society then. We have nurtured and practiced it since the Stone Age. We needed it then, as we need it now. Gossip is the human equivalent of social grooming among primates, which has been shown to stimulate the production of endorphins, relieving stress and boosting the immune system. "Two-thirds of all human conversation is gossip, because it is essential to our social, psychological and physical well-being." From coffee gatherings, cocktail parties, conferences, seminars, meetings, family and school reunions we enjoy the guilty pleasures of talking about other people. Derived from the old English word god sibb, meaning "a person related to one in god", or a god parent, a close friend or companion, until the 1800s the word gossip denoted friendship. Evolutionary psychologist Nigel Nicholson of the London School of Business believes gossip is good for you. It makes you more psychologically positive. Witness a social assembly or business conference -- to Nicholson they are "huge circuses devoted almost exclusively to official and unofficial gossip". It helps us establish, develop and maintain relationships, cement social ties and bond with other members of our social circles. Evolutionary scientists theorise that without the traditional gossip network, society would crumble. How many times have you or a friend started a conversation with: "Have you heard the latest?" "Regaling colleagues with a juicy story is sharing a vital human resource -- gossip." When you see a person huddled in a corner with a friend telling him some piece of rumour about a common acquaintance, remember this is grooming. It is also gossip. It is letting him know he is important enough and liked enough to be trusted with a confidence. The subject of gossip is increasingly attracting the attention of social psychology, anthropology, evolutionary psychology, sociolinguists and social historians. Even philosophers are being drawn into the debate. Numerous books, essays, articles and studies are published annually, and college courses are being taught on numerous campuses. At Oxford University they do not even camouflage the title of the academic course. It is simply a course on Gossip and attendance is at its maximum. British psychologist, Robin Dunbar PhD, in his latest book Grooming, Gossip, and the Evolution of Language, introduces a provocative theory of why humans came to have language. His argument, now embraced by many enthusiasts, is that verbal communication evolved from a need to indulge in small talk (gossip), leading to social cohesion and mitigating social conflict. It does what primatologists have long claimed grooming does for baboons. How language began has always fascinated us, and though his theory may be a trifle stretched, it will please the supporters of gossip. Geoffrey Miller proposes that language evolved as a courtship device, yet he agrees with Dunbar that language is mostly gossip, and embraces the theory that gossip is grooming. While mutual grooming of primates stimulates production of endorphins (the body's natural pain-killing opiate) it is highly likely that the vocal grooming of gossiping has similar beneficial, physical and psychological effects increasing serotonin in the brain. By gossiping we may be effectively giving ourselves the natural equivalent of small doses of morphine or amphetamines. Space technology brought with it the e-mail, fax, Internet, and the mobile phone, all facilitating our need to communicate and enjoy frequent "grooming". The mobile phone provided an antidote to daily pressures, functioning as a therapeutic activity, a stress- release in a modern fragmented world. The surprise in a recent study has shown that men gossip at least as much as women, especially on their mobile, the modern medium for gossip. Thirty-three per cent of men indulge in mobile gossip almost every day, versus 26 per cent of women. They gossip about the same subjects as women, but men prefer to call it "shop talk", revolving around work, sports and politicians. Women will not be surprised to learn that men tend to talk more about themselves than women do. All tabloid journalism is an extension of the gossip network. Some, such as Edward Eggleston, go so far as to claim that all "journalism is organised gossip". Tabloid journalism holds us to a rigid code of right and wrong, much more so than the proper press. Because, while it may be more ruthless and cruel, it honours all the established ethics of behaviour. Do not lie, cheat, steal, or kill, or you are held to task on the pages of the tabloids. Research on human conversation has shown that about 2/3 of gossip is devoted to social topics, personal relations and personal problems. A surprising finding is that only 5 per cent of gossip is negative. While we gossip mostly about our friends and people around us, celebrities, such as stars in film, TV, sports, royals, politicians, because they are familiar to us through media inundation, become as close to us as someone we know and should care about, e.g. figures like OJ Simpson, Princess Diana, Bill Clinton -- and therefore we gossip about them. Even in institutions of research and learning, at the headquarters of multinational companies in their common rooms and restaurants, conversation does not focus on matters of weight, such as politics, business or intellectual and cultural issues. Most of these topics occupy 2- 3 per cent of conversation, the rest is -- well -- gossip. Whatever the scientific theory, we gossip because we enjoy it. Let's face it, gossip is fun! With all the studies emphasising the beneficial effects of gossip however, we cannot dismiss it as altogether harmless. The dark side of gossip is malicious, vicious and negative directed to those who cannot defend themselves. It is distasteful, compelling us to develop tricks of subtlety and skill appearing to be sympathetic and charitable to the victim we are destroying. "Judge not that ye be not judged" was not said in vain. Gossiping tends to have a boomerang effect: "When you gossip negatively, you become associated with the characteristics you describe, ultimately leading these characteristics to be 'transferred' to you. You must watch out for this "transference". There is no denying that gossip has destroyed lives, broken hearts, wrecked homes, relations, friends and communities. So while you can enjoy the endorphins of a gossip session, it can curl its ugly head and bite. Remember the transference theory and the boomerang effect. If you can't think of anything nice to say, say nothing at all, for words can kill and so can gossip. The tongue can manufacture poison for which there is no antidote.
